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June 30, 2008

coming home

In a little while load up the car with our considerable luggage and start our long journey home. (no, we aren't driving to Sydney!) I can't believe it. It has been a tough 4 months (4 months!!)
I can't wait to see the kitty, see my city and sleep in my bed. I can't wait to get back to work, get started on the new house and catch up with friends.
So next time I post I should be on the other side of the equator. Very jet lagged, but happy to be home.
yay! see ya there

-gg

Posted by gadgetgirl at 09:47 AM

June 23, 2008

endings and beginnings

Today starts my last full day in Peoria.

I can't believe it's almost time for me to go home. Today we clean out most of the things from Mom's place (it's all either going to family or charity), tomorrow we load up a van and drive a bunch of stuff to my brother's place in Chicago, on Thursday we fly out to Seattle for a wedding, then we fly back home after that.

This time next week I'll be on my way to Sydney. Wow.

But as we know, there is truly no rest for the wicked...as soon as we get back we need to start packing because....drum roll please....we bought a house! Here's a little sneak peek for ya. We should be able to move in around the 14th of July. (depending on what we want to get done to the place before we move in) But yeah, we bought a house in the middle of all of this. Crazy, eh?

It was really funny actually. We had looked at this place last year and fell in love with it. We bid on it but the seller didn't want to come down on the price. Then, well, someone else ended up buying it. Or so we thought. The deal didn't go through for one reason or another then the seller rented the house out for a year. So, while we were dealing with all of this, the house (our house!) came back on the market. After a little back and forth with the price and some of the terms we came to an agreement and the house is ours!

We love it.
It's an late 60's/early 70's Pettit and Sevitt split level house. It is so cool! I still can't believe it. It probably wont seem real until I go home and step into it. But that's cool. The house needs quite a bit of work but we are up to it. But it you know how to paint (or fix a deck, or do some plumbing, or build a retaining wall....) and want to come to Australia, drop me an email. We are taking applications.
:)
So I'm going to hop in the shower and get this day started. We have a lot to do and I don't want to spend the whole morning on the internet.

-gg

Posted by gadgetgirl at 10:29 PM

On to the funny.

Swedish Furniture Name Generator

too funny.

-gg

Posted by gadgetgirl at 09:31 AM

June 18, 2008

Reflections

Wow, how long has it been since I've blogged? 6 weeks? 8 maybe?

I didn't feel right about blogging about my Mom's illness. She was a very private person and I know she wouldn't have wanted her business all splashed out in the blogosphere.

I will, however, give you the cliff notes version. We found out in February that Mom had stage 4 lung cancer. The prognosis was not good. She had chemo, radiation, lots of hospitalization, medication, etc. She fought it hard. Harder than I thought someone so small ever could. But on the afternoon of June 11 her little body just gave out. The spirit was willing but...well you know....

Cancer sucks.
There's no other way to say it. It just blows. It takes your strength and leaves you with pain. It takes your will, your energy, hell it takes your damn hair and leaves you with agony and misery. I would give my money, my life, my everything so no other family have to go through what we just went through. It just isn't fair.

But I have learned so much through this journey. About myself and about the world. The last 4 months have changed the person that I am.

I've learned that people are amazing. Truly. Family, friends, colleagues, neighbours, bank tellers, waitresses, nurses, random people on the street. It just blows me away. I've learned that when people say 'what can I do to help' you should take them up on it, because they really mean it! I would not be sitting here without the love and support of so many people. People rock

I've also learned the power of laughter. A good strong belly laugh is better than Xanex. If you surround yourself with people that get your sense of humour, you will always be ok. Seriously. It doesn't matter if it's just stupid internet humour, a cheesy sitcom or Even just goofing off with a fuzzy dog. It can change everything. So laugh, and laugh lots.

I learned how strong my Mom was. Damn. She hung on longer and fought harder than anyone thought she could. I can still picture her nurse looking at me like, 'I don't know how the hell she is doing this' .She was on enough drugs to stop a horse, filled with unbelievable amounts of cancer and couldn't eat for days and yet she still reminisced with us over old photos, watched her favourite TV shows every day and tried to do everything for herself. I am so proud. You have no idea.

I know now that I have inherited some of that strength. I've dealt with doctors, lawyers, the city, the government, insurance, emergency room visits, pain, vomit, filth, snow, you name it. And I'm still here. I'm still standing. I never thought it would be possible. Roar.

But I still can't believe I'm here. I can't believe that today I'm going to collect my Mother's death certificate. Boy, that's going to be hard. I can't believe I'm packing up her house, going through her stuff. I know that I'm going to cry a lot over the next few hours, days, weeks, months, years. I know that my birthday will never be the same. That Christmas will be bitter sweet. That when I do something good there will be a little part of me that will always want to pick up the phone to ring my Mom. It's kind of like I'm just moved into some alternate universe. One that I really don't want to be in. And I know that there will be a hundred little things that will come up and make me do that tight lipped half smile I do when something hurts.

But I also know that I can make it. With lots of love and support (and a few cold ones) I will start this new path in life. I know so much more now that I did 4 months ago. I love my friends, my family, my wonderful husband more than I thought possible.

Ya know, I used to always say that when I was growing up I wanted to be Mary Tyler Moore but I ended up being Rhoda. Mary was the epitome of the independent woman, tall, cool, sexy. And man she had a cool apartment. Rhoda was the not-so-cute neighbour, never as with it or as strong as Mary. She was never quite together, always a little flustered, always out of place. That's how I always saw myself. As Rhoda. Never quite as strong, funky, or together as the next gal. But now, sitting here, things have changed. I am strong. I am together. And while I don't think I'm very cool, I really don't give a shit. I feel like I have graduated. I feel like I've shifted. I feel like I am Mary. (with a few Rhoda moments occasionally....) Oh, maybe I should run around in a circle and throw my beret in the air...

But I hope wherever Mom is there is a 24 hour Law and Order marathon, the beer is always cold, and Bush is no longer president.

I'm going to miss you Mom, but you will always be with me. Always.

-gg

Posted by gadgetgirl at 10:56 PM